New Arrested Development review up

It's been a month since my last review, thanks to a number of 1500-2000 word essays I had to write (which sometimes proved difficult as I hadn't done the course readings), but I've finally managed to get another review for the brilliant Arrested Development.

Have a read of it here.

'Prometheus'

No, this will not be so much a review as it is a compilation of my thoughts. I would like it to be a mind map of sorts, but it seems I am limited in posting options. And I'm going to share my Prometheus thoughts, a film I saw when it first came out, because I really wanted this picture on my blog. Just look at how adorable Charlize Theron and Michael Fassbender are. Look!

Also, if you don't want to have the film's ending ruined for you, it might be a good idea to stop reading here, and just spend the next 5 minutes looking at the adorableness of Theron and Fassbender. I did just that about 3 times while writing this.

To quickly recap, the film follows two archaeologists, Elizabeth and Charlie (Noomi Rapace and Logan Marshall-Green respectively), who discover a series of ancient cave star maps, pointing towards a distant planet, which they believe is home to the truth about creation. After hearing their theories and findings, Peter Weyland (Guy Pearce), a billionaire CEO, funds their expedition and sends them onboard the spacecraft Prometheus along with 15 other crew members, including android David (Michael Fassbender) and expedition monitorer, Meredith (Charlize Theron). The search for the origins of humanity quickly turns into a discovery of a threat that could wipe out the human race.

Firstly, there are a lot of mixed reviews for Prometheus, most of which are negative. I actually thought the film was good. Not great, as in I will go see the film again, but good as in that was interesting. I know a few people who couldn't believe Ridley Scott backed this movie, not only as director, but also producer, but you've got to realise he also backed Blade Runner, which was not a box office success, but is now a cult film. To be honest, there was not much to the storyline as there could've been. The first third of the film dragged on a little too long, save for Michael Fassbender, and the real action only came in towards the end.

Cinematography was beautiful. The entire first sequence was breathtakingly beautiful, and this is against footage of the 'first' human collapsing and disintegrating into atoms. Although the film is grey-toned throughout, there are bursts of sparkling blue amidst all the dark tunnels which simply light up the picture. It definitely fits the futuristic sci-fi and neo-noir genre made famous by Ridley, and helped make everything simply magical. 

I thought Noomi Rapace did a great job as the film's leading heroine. I look at all the other actresses considered for the part, Anne Hathaway and Carey Mulligan amongst the group, and I don't believe any of them could've portrayed Elizabeth Shaw in the way that fit the film. Anne Hathaway for example, while characteristically strong-willed and independent doesn't have that vulnerability or uncertainty of an archaeologist exploring a new planet, and Carey Mulligan has too much and not enough willpower. Noomi Rapace is a perfect combination of both, and her performance in the gory (not-really) delivery scene was superb (but gory).

My favourite however, was Michael Fassbender, who played David to perfection, literally. His interpretation of the android is most definitely the highlight of the film, and seems to have garnered consistent praise from all reviewers regardless of how they rated the film. The airy-ness of his performance was brilliant, as was his android-like movements and mannerisms. I couldn't have fallen in love with Michael Fassbender anymore than I have. I love the whole idea of an android (replicants, robots, all of them) stuck in that void where they are at the same time human and not-human. I get so emotional when it comes to things like that, and when its Michael Fassbender playing said android, you really feel empathetic for him, even when you can't decide if he's all good.

An interesting deduction by one of my workmates has got me thinking whether Meredith was (or is) in fact an android. It would be a nice twist in the sequel if she did come back, because at the moment it's just Elizabeth and David. Otherwise, the entirety of the next film will star two actors (or rather one and a half because Fassbender would just be a head), on the account that if the people of Earth decide to send out another spacecraft, they wouldn't be able to locate Elizabeth anyway. And the first humans were CGI, or whatever technical equivalent, anyway. Also, Meredith's death seemed out of place. There are a few clues supporting the 'Meredith is an android' theory, including the fact that she was able to get out of her statis pod herself and immediately perform a number of push-ups while the other crew members woke up with nausea and other health issues. I guess she could've been trained for it but she seemed more capable of getting out than the captain himself, who most definitely would've been trained. She also had the same airy-ness as David, and seemed more emotionless. However, I think I am 'for' Meredith being an android, which puts me in a position to point out a number of other facts that counters my claim. Firstly, she was in the stasis pod to begin with when she need not be. When Meredith sees Charlie's infection as a threat to her crew, her first instinct was to 'suit-up' so that she could exit the ship and stop Charlie getting on board herself. If she was/is an android, she would be able to breathe the air on that planet, and need not suit up. My point is, that her first instinct was to 'suit-up' not 'stop Charlie from entering the ship'. Also, can androids function sexually? And why did she race to the escape pod at the end even though if she was/is an android, she'd know that she can't die? There are a lot of questions, and many more clues but I am confusing myself over and over again by writing them out.

All in all, Prometheus? A pretty good film, with great cinematography and brilliant, brilliant acting by Michael Fassbender.

UCB ASSSSCAT

It's past midnight, and I've just finished watching this recording of ASSSSCAT for what may be the millionth time. The Upright Citizens Brigade is an Improv comedy troupe founded in NYC in 1990, and they are a hilarious bunch of talented performers. If you've got a few minutes (actually, 43 minutes) I would recommend watching this, and then afterwards, with your spare change ($2000), head to NYC (or LA) and catch a live performance at the UCB theatre - as I will be doing in a few weeks' time.

Yes, that is Amy Poehler in the video, and a bunch of other well known SNL alumni.

The headline I would've gone with is...

By far the best headline ever to be invented. Leslie is just full of great ideas. Here's another favourite:

Cut the crapsule!

Pictures courtesy of Beth

The roads are full of animals

I'm never been a comfortable public transport commuter. It's not because I hate the actual vehicle itself (in fact, quite the contrary - I think it's amazing that trains run, no, slide, on tracks), but because I don't like the passengers. As Jo Thornely puts it, people on public transport are animals. They are inconsiderate, no-I'm-not-sharing-my-three-seater-with-you, fare evading animals. Granted, not all of you are horrible commuters, but a majority are. You would think that driving would free me from this. The reality is, people on the roads are just as terrible.

What ever happened to 'the wave'?

I remember a time when all everyone did was say thanks to a driver for giving way to them. Now we're apparently all too lazy to raise our arm up as common courtesy, even just for a second. You don't even have to raise it all the way up (I go for the full 90 degrees, but whatever) - if your arm is out the window, even a raise of 10 degrees from the horizontal would suffice. A tiny tiny 10 degrees! It probably takes more effort to breathe in. You know, I didn't have to give way; I could've let you stall in your lane and zoom past, but no, I am a nice person and I let you out. I ask for so little, but get nothing in return.

What's worse is when you say thanks before I give way. Just butt out your car and cut me off why don't you? It is actually dangerous to do that, and you could've caused an accident. There is probably a reason why I didn't give way and the reason is because you're a shit driver who can't make proper decisions on the road. Do not butt your car out to incoming traffic. Not cars, traffic. You will eventually get out, when it's safe. Why else are you temporarily stuck there? Because it's not fucking safe. I do not appreciate your pre-thanks when it means putting my life on danger.

Tail-gaiting

Look, I know I am just a provisional driver, but that doesn't give you the go ahead to check out the back of my car. It's a safety issue, not only because I could brake suddenly, but because when called upon, my car's thrust engines will be engaged, and you will be engulfed in balls of fire as I make my way to Gotham City. Tail-gaiting me will not help you get to your destination faster. In fact, I will most likely slow down because I don't give a shit about you. And when you finally manage to switch lanes and zoom past, I know you'll be catching a glimpse of who's in the driver's seat, expecting an 80 year old who has never gotten her full licence, but really being greeted by a 19 year old who does not give a fuck.

Stop signs

They actually want you to stop. Not slow down to shuffling pace, but when the wheels are at a standstill and your speed is 0km/h. If they didn't want you to stop, they would've put up a 'give way' sign, but they didn't. If I were ever a police officer, I would organise a stake out at a stop sign for every shift I was rostered, and I can guarantee that more than 50% of cars passing by that area would receive a fine for failing to stop at a stop sign. And an additional fine for assaulting a police officer. Sometimes I also wished that whenever the car behind me blows its horn, sirens will go off and I will reveal my identity as an undercover policewomen, driving a Toyota Tarago (Toyota, the family car). 

Indicators

They're bright, blink and make annoying sounds. But they also tell you (and others) where you're headed. If you don't use them, how am I supposed to secretly stalk you?

The meaning of 'straight'

When I say 'go straight', I do not mean 'go forward'. I also do not mean 'abandon your homosexuality'. Straight means 'follow the markings on the road'. So if the lines bear to the right, despite there being another road 'ahead', 'straight' means bearing right and going 'ahead' means turning left.

Buses (and trucks)

AKA the monster trucks of the road. They are so wide they take up the entire width of the lane so it's almost impossible to overtake them, especially in a fairly big car like a Tarago. Plus bus and truck drivers never look out for other vehicles because they think they own the road. Driving next to, in front of, or behind a bus/truck is like living in the shadows of the popular kids at high school. There's a constant fear of being trampled over, you always have to 'give way' to them, but more importantly, they mock you for being so small. It's bullying on another level.

Pedestrians

Hey, pedestrians, the road is not your bitch. Maybe take your eyes off your smartphone for once and look out for cars, because aside from being able to transport you from A to B, they can also kill you. I don't understand people who stand in the middle of a busy street, with no traffic island to stand on. They're literally standing on the road, and on the road markings. Your humans, not cats, so you only have one life, and vehicles zooming past on either side (travelling in opposite directions) can knock you down simply by wind force, if not first by impact.

Breath of Life

I'm currently stuck in an assessment period, which explains my lack of blogging. I am, however, completely in love with Florence + The Machine's track for the film Snow White and the Huntsman. Her voice perfectly complements the orchestral sounds, and she's just got so much passion when she sings. Yes, I know I already posted about how amazing her Sydney concert was, but she didn't sing Breath of Life there, so I feel it necessary to add it here.

I am not normally a big fan of Disney remakes, but Charlize Theron just looks mad in Snow White and the Huntsman. Unlike Mirror Mirror, as the Queen she looks pure evil (Julia Roberts looked nothing of the sort). So I may be watching the film to listen in to Florence + The Machine, and for Charlize Theron.

FLORENCE + THE MACHINE

I have post Florence + The Machine excitement.

Just returned home from one of the greatest nights of my life. Watching Florence + The Machine perform live at the Sydney Entertainment Centre was simply breathtaking. Florence has such an amazing voice, and the machine, what an amazing group. Yay for the return of the harp! I just love everything about Florence - her voice (both live and recorded), her songs, her fashion, her style, the design of the concert, everything. You leave her show loving songs even more than you could possibly imagine, but more importantly, you 'discover' a new favourite simply because she has transformed it into something amazing live.

I loved, loved that she sang songs from her previous album - Cosmic Love, Dog Days Are Over, You've Got the Love, Rabbit Heart, Between Two Lungs. My only disappointment was that she didn't play Drumming, one of my personal favourites. She played all my favourites from 'Ceremonials' (aka. the first half of the album), but also songs like 'Spectrum' which Florence called, "Let's play a dancing competition and see who loses the most shit." This made me laugh lots. A small girl in the audience 'won' the competition and got a personal visit from Florence, but also later followed Florence to the stage, and 'hijacked' it. Very cute. The images that projected onto the cathedral inspired centrepiece were gorgeous - I particularly liked the lungs which accompanied Between Two Lungs and the trees for Dog Days Are Over.

And even though the way she lead the concert was similar to previous shows (which I watched online), and I knew what she would ask of us next, watching it unfold live was still exciting. I knew what song she would sing next when she invited us to get on each other's shoulders (no, I unfortunately did not rise) thanks to Coachella, and anticipated the jumping when Dog Days Are Over began.

I just wished I had a camera to capture the amazingness of the show - the iPhone does not do well to focus or produce clear images, so I apologise in advance for the terrible images posted below (although I did Instagram them). I actually didn't take many photos. On the plus though, the new iOS feature that allows you to take photos while in 'lock' mode came in handy numerous times during the night.

If there had been enough room around me on the floor, I totally would've twirled around like Florence. That was how amazing it was.

Six months in the waiting

'Only if For a Night' opening spectacular

She wore a superb jumpsuit

'Shake It Out' - wished we had complimentary masks

'Spectrum' aka. 'Dancing competition to see who loses the most shit'
Notice: disco ball and disco ball beam of light

Arrested Development Review - Season 1, Episode 1 'Pilot'

Hooray, another published piece of work! This time, a review for one of the funniest TV comedies ever to have aired, Arrested Development. Creator Mitch Hurwitz recently confirmed that he's developing a limited run fourth series (as a lead in to a full feature) due for an early 2013 release, so if you haven't yet caught on to the AD bug, it's never too late to start.

Read my review for the 'Pilot' episode here, and purchase the entire three seasons at your nearest DVD retailer. No, don't borrow it. BUY IT. It is definitely worth your money.

The Dark Knight Rises

"He's the hero Gotham deserves, but not the one it needs right now."

My love for Batman has never been a secret - just ask any of my friends. The new trailer for The Dark Knight Rises was recently released, and every single time I watch it, I get the chills. Christian Bale, you are beautiful. The reason I love Batman so much is because he's just a human being, devoid of any superpower - he's simply a superhuman. 

I am ecstatic to be watching The Dark Knight Rises later this year, in none other than Gotham City, aka New York City after dark.  

First published article, yay!

I recently wrote a personal essay for a uni assignment, and I reworked it, and now it's published! Gather all your friends, and read it here! Optimal reading amusement will be achieved by putting on glasses and eating yellow skittles. You can also follow the hilarious writer and creator of Bon Vivant, Ben Vernel on twitter here.

Take that, physiotherapy! I'm already enjoying my newfound calling in writing.

In need of a hobby

One of the benefits of moving from a Physiotherapy degree into a Communications degree is time. Where I was once attending university five days a week, I am now only there for three half days. My life has moved from "must-write-notes-on-the-gluteus-maximus" to "I-could-do-those-readings-oh-look-the-new-episode-of-Community-is-out" (I probably ended up watching Community regardless of how engrossing the gluteus maximus is, but let's be fair, sitting on our cushiony butt muscles while watching Community is simply putting theory to practice). I don't even have to do those readings because I no longer have any exams. And consider the fact that I tend to skip my lectures, so that leaves me, sitting at home, literally watching time fly by. I guess this is what it feels like to be a dog - just eat and sleep. The problem is, I have so much free time, but so much I want to do. It's on par with walking into a supermarket and being overwhelmed by the choices. I'll work myself up with everything I want to accomplish, but the moment I have the time to do so, I shut down. In the words of John Mulaney (who is an excellent comedian, and you should check out his stand up), "it is 100% easier not to do something than to do them."

My cousins (some of whom are in the same boat) and I were discussing this last night, and it was decided that we need a hobby. It occurred to me that other than watching a shit load of TV, I don't have a hobby. I am reminded of my Facebook profile, where you are able to list your activities or interests. The following contains some of my listed hobbies: travelling, markets, being off with the pixies, basking in the sunlight, exotic and tropical fruits, british accents, improv.

I also do not understand how these count as hobbies. Let me clarify that I do not go around shouting out names of exotic fruits to passer-bys in a terrible British accent, nor do I immediately transform into a lizard at the sight of a patch of sunlight. I need a real hobby.

The most popular suggestion by my cousins was a sporting activity, say swimming (I'm not sure if sports is a hobby so much so as it is a maintaining-your-health requirement). The thing is, my brain understands that taking up exercise will exponentially increase my life expectancy, but when this theory is outsourced to my limbs, I die. I'm still recovering from UTS' Amazing Race from 4 days ago, having run up and down 100+ flights of stairs - I have literally been walking around like a duck, and I have to swing my legs around my body because I can't physically lift them. I think the following .gif perfectly encapsulates my curent fitness level:

I have promised myself (many times), that I need to go out for a run, or even lift weights (mainly because I fear that my arm muscles are melting with every second). It's a worry that I haven't exercised properly in years. Maybe I won't be the first person to live to 150 after all.

Hobby suggestion #2: make something extravagant, like a massive costume. I have an almost unlimited supply to fabric, but making a costume requires me making it. I haven't even begun to sew on the lace trimmings to my socks from months ago - and I don't even have to make it. I'm not that talented of a crafts person to design my own costume, so I would have to use a pattern, and using a pattern requires me cutting out the pattern, then pinning it down to the fabric and cutting the exact same shapes again. It's painful. If I had the pieces already cut out, I would definitely be more motivated to sew. But almost all the time, the end result doesn't turn out to be as great as I hoped. The singlet I made when I was 13? Too embarrassing to wear out, and I modelled it for an event at school. The tiered skirt that I made when I was 15? It made me stumpy, and I have since let it gather dust at the back of my wardrobe. This poses a problem for my Hobbit costume plans for the Comic Con International event I plan to attend later this year. I can't turn up at one of the biggest festivals in the world in a poorly made Hobbit outfit. But there you go, something extravagant for me to work on in my spare time.

Suggestion #3 was the best of them all. Make a claymation or stop motion animation, to the likes of Ben Wyatt's Requiem for a Tuesday:

As you can see, the story is very deep and emotional. I myself have teared up from the beauty that is Requiem for a Tuesday. How such an animation was overlooked by Aardman Animations (the same production company responsible for Wallace and Gromit and Chicken Run) I will never know. Let's see, if I take one photo (of a mini workstation set up somewhere in my room) each day, for one and half years, the animation will be completed...never. It will literally be to the likes of Ben Wyatt. Yay, for incomplete stop-motion animations! And if this becomes my hobby, who knows, I could have, like 50 incomplete films by the end of the year.

I'm Ron fucking Swanson

I'm currently eating my way through the first three seasons of Parks and Recreation (again), and Ron Swanson is one of the greatest TV characters in all of history. Behold, the 'Swanson Pyramid of Greatness', a "perfectly calibrated recipe for maximum personal achievement".

Favourite categories:

• Frankness: Cut the B.S.
• Capitalism: God's way of determining who is rich, and who is poor.
• Crying: Acceptable at funerals and at the Grand Canyon. 
• Stillness: Don't waste energy moving unless necessary.
• Handshakes: Firm. Dry. Solid. 3 seconds.
• Skim milk: Avoid it.

Nick Offerman as Ron Swanson is stand out hilarious (as is the rest of the cast and show). I highly recommend watching 2.02 'The Stakeout'. It also wouldn't hurt to visit this website.

Shortcut through the Turkish district!

I do believe that there has been a blanket fort revival since the airing of NBC's Community episode 3.09 'Conspiracy theories and Interior Design'. The idea of a blanket fort has been a childhood dream for me. In the past, I have built cubby houses out of blankets and fabric scraps, but never anything as big or elaborate as a fort. This was until a fortnight ago when an opportunity presented itself: my parents were going away, and my sisters and I had the house to weekend. Other kids would jump at the opportunity to throw a house party, and perhaps we would've if we didn't live two houses away from our grandma, or if the design of our house wasn't intended to be so cramped. So, we realised our childhood dream instead. 

 

After three hours of intense pegging of fabric scraps together and delicate placement of fairy lights, it was complete. And it couldn't have turned out any better. Apart from a kitchen and bathroom, the fort was literally a small apartment (however, not so small that it could've been a centre for ants). We managed to include two couches, a television, mattress, beanbag, treadmill, and a coffee table. Impressive, I know. But don't take my word for it; here are some testimonials:

• "SO. PUMPED." - Michelle, of Fried and Dried (via Facebook)
• "...this is WAY TOO COOL. Where was my invite?! I want to be there too. The lights are just MAD." - Katrina, of One Sentence Movie Reviews/Thoughts (via Facebook)
• "YOUR FORT LOOKS REALLY COOL AND NOW YOU JUST NEED SOME LIGHTSABERS, DISCO LIGHTS AND BUBBLES FOR SOME EXTRA FUN!" - Sophia, of MoulinFrock (via Facebook)

And now for some advanced praise:

• "I know I love this fort because my tail is going at a hundred miles per hour!" - Sonny, our dog.
• "Totally worth it." - Clothing pegs, who strained to hold the fort together
• "Crawling is the new walking!" - my hands and knees

We held a sleepover in the fort, and squat danced to Foster the People, and 'Breathless' by The Corrs (in which Andrea assumed an egg roll position, as she was overcome with too much nostalgia), while sipping on our lemon lime and bitters under a canopy of fairy lights and lanterns. It was glorious and one the best projects my sisters and I have ever accomplished.

We kept the fort erect for the entirety of the weekend, refusing to sleep in our own rooms (our dog included). And here's where my weekend was cooler than yours: I got to sleep in a blanket fort.